Weekend Writing Warriors: Sunday 12 April 2015 (WIP: Ship’s Heart)

Ferenc and the little ones darted between them, imitating the dancers who fell when the light stabbed across them.

The song rose to a despairing shriek; the scene changed, without warning, to a dais on which the sole survivor stood, under the watchful glance of an outsized figure all in white with a swarm of snow about her, a transparent blade in one hand and a red flower in the other.

Perhaps one of the Karis gods? “It’s the Queen of the Snows,” Mavra whispered. “Now things take a turn very much for the worse.”

Another figure, masked, took shape out of darkness, approached the combatant on the dais, pulled them backward by the hair and drew a long blade across their throat, scattering red glitter. Jehen heard a gasp; Ferenc was standing across the commons, where the dancing circle had been. His mouth was open in horror and wonder.

***

Out of order, temporally, from last week’s excerpt. Ferenc, age 8, is Jehen’s younger half-brother. This is the children’s first introduction to classical glam space opera, in holographic performance.

Weekend Writing Warriors offers a selection of eight-sentence excerpts from many different writers. For the full selection, see here.

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6 Responses to Weekend Writing Warriors: Sunday 12 April 2015 (WIP: Ship’s Heart)

  1. Kim Magennis says:

    Such a powerful scene. Well done!

  2. daezarkian says:

    Vivid imagery and details, beautifully written!

  3. Gemma Parkes says:

    I agree, the imagery is very visual! This is an exciting scene and it really drew me in.

  4. A dramatic opera indeed! I read it three times for the sheer enjoyment of the imagery…excellent excerpt.

  5. Ed Hoornaert says:

    Beautifully written passage. Lots of conflict, too, and the combination is great. I suspect that this quote will be applicable: “Strange adventures, and getting wet, and carrying on alone and that sort of thing are all very well, but they aren’t very comfortable in the long run.” — Tove Jansson

  6. ED Martin says:

    My mouth would’ve been open in horror and wonder at this too. Great descriptions!

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