Weekend Writing Warriors: Sunday 12 April 2015 (WIP: Ship’s Heart)

Ferenc and the little ones darted between them, imitating the dancers who fell when the light stabbed across them.

The song rose to a despairing shriek; the scene changed, without warning, to a dais on which the sole survivor stood, under the watchful glance of an outsized figure all in white with a swarm of snow about her, a transparent blade in one hand and a red flower in the other.

Perhaps one of the Karis gods? “It’s the Queen of the Snows,” Mavra whispered. “Now things take a turn very much for the worse.”

Another figure, masked, took shape out of darkness, approached the combatant on the dais, pulled them backward by the hair and drew a long blade across their throat, scattering red glitter. Jehen heard a gasp; Ferenc was standing across the commons, where the dancing circle had been. His mouth was open in horror and wonder.


Out of order, temporally, from last week’s excerpt. Ferenc, age 8, is Jehen’s younger half-brother. This is the children’s first introduction to classical glam space opera, in holographic performance.

Weekend Writing Warriors offers a selection of eight-sentence excerpts from many different writers. For the full selection, see here.

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6 Responses to Weekend Writing Warriors: Sunday 12 April 2015 (WIP: Ship’s Heart)

  1. Kim Magennis says:

    Such a powerful scene. Well done!

  2. daezarkian says:

    Vivid imagery and details, beautifully written!

  3. Gemma Parkes says:

    I agree, the imagery is very visual! This is an exciting scene and it really drew me in.

  4. A dramatic opera indeed! I read it three times for the sheer enjoyment of the imagery…excellent excerpt.

  5. Ed Hoornaert says:

    Beautifully written passage. Lots of conflict, too, and the combination is great. I suspect that this quote will be applicable: “Strange adventures, and getting wet, and carrying on alone and that sort of thing are all very well, but they aren’t very comfortable in the long run.” — Tove Jansson

  6. ED Martin says:

    My mouth would’ve been open in horror and wonder at this too. Great descriptions!

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