“I think,” Martisset said, with a glance at Arna, “that we might continue this conversation out of earshot of the children.”
Arna rolled her eyes, pulled up the cowl of her passenger’s coverall, put her visor on again, curled up in the chair, and pulled the console toward her, as if to say that grown-up matters were nowhere so interesting as the thoroughly fictional drama in which she was immersing herself.
“What is she watching?” Jehen asked.
“Oh not watching, playing. I found a copy of Galactic Flight on the Downlink. She’s playing, and running a notebook with all the physics and engineering errors.”
“Not the other one … Voyage to the Original World?”
“No, that one — well, there’s a copy, but I don’t like that game any more. It sounds stupid at this date, but I let Yasmin-the-Third win at it when we were little, and I let her be Captain.”
Weekend Writing Warriors offers eight-sentence excerpts from a variety of writers; see the other excerpts here.
Thanks to everyone who has commented on these excerpts! This is a complicated tale (space opera and soap opera are first cousins, it turns out) so these excerpts are at most glimpses. I’m still puttering away at endgame, and hoping to have this manuscript wrapped by New Year’s Eve and ready for the beta readers.
2013 has been a very challenging year on the Real Life front, though I continued writing in spite of it. If the fates relent, 2014 will be the year I get editing into my workflow on a regular basis so my faithful readers can check out the final product.
Very best holiday wishes to all!
Arna seems to have stop whatever conversation they were having, now they might all go and play video games.
I love that she’s not just playing a game for fun, but finding all its flaws : )
Vivid writing, EP. The dialogue is sharp, and the details well done. I agree with Millie, too. 🙂
Have a merry Christmas! I hope 2014 is your year!
Thank you for the good wishes!
Interesting excerpt, this story has so much going on and so many possibilities!
I like Arna, keeping a log of the game errors!
Are there two people or three in this scene?
Martisset (Arna’s guardian), Jehen (the captain), and Arna. So — three in all.
Thank you all for your comments! If all goes well, I’m looking to publish this story some time in the first or second quarter of 2014.
And Arna, the youngest character in this scene, is also the oldest. She first turns up in a story I wrote in 1974.
Oh, I like this one. Interesting and the dialogue sounds very natural:)