Weekend Writing Warriors: Sunday 11 January 2015 (NaNo 2014 WIP Romance with Rayguns)

From earlier in the story: Hernan and Taryn have evaded capture and stowed away with the cargo for an interstellar supply run.

***

No longer quarry, Hernan could now serve Taryn’s role as hunter.

Free-fall.

They felt the acceleration, on the fourth day. It increased till he felt lead weight on his chest, felt the webbing sway under them, but not give way. If he didn’t mistake the signals over the comms, they were entrained to the orbital tender; there was the blast-off, the rig of rockets, and then inertia was on their side, fine-tuned by thrusters, until they reached the Great Yard where another set of voices took over, Sarronny accents and Sarronny songs ringing through the comms as the Ship coupled to the cargo rigs. Deep under the surface of conscious thought, the story of disaster told itself: the coupling failed, and they drifted, lost forever, as one system after another failed, and they died in darkness.

But the clear, no-nonsense voices rang out, the humans alongside the AIs, to say that the coupling was secure, all atmospheric systems were go, and they were set to leave the planetary orbit of Karis.

What he’d only read about, what he’d hoped to accomplish at last in the company of his love.

***

From NaNo 2014, untitled romance with rayguns.

Weekend Writing Warriors offers a selection of eight-sentence excerpts from many different writers. For the full selection, see here.

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4 Responses to Weekend Writing Warriors: Sunday 11 January 2015 (NaNo 2014 WIP Romance with Rayguns)

  1. daezarkian says:

    I love how you ratchet up the tension in this snippet. Awesome work!

  2. Kate Warren says:

    I hope there aren’t any last minute snags. Hernan was clearly worried that things were going to be terribly wrong.

  3. I liked the way you wove his bad dreams (or worst fears?) into the narrative, but then things on the journey were actually going fine. Loved the idea of the Saronny songs – another excellent excerpt!

  4. This line just gripped me! “Deep under the surface of conscious thought, the story of disaster told itself: the coupling failed, and they drifted, lost forever, as one system after another failed, and they died in darkness.” A fine string of words, EP!

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